I just want to be myself back

I have been trying to do what others tell me to do, either when to do this or where the place I should go and when the time to have the gathering and what name I should put in my contact in order to match the statue of the person and bla bla bla. For the first time in my life I just want to be myself and not doing what ppl are telling me to do. From the minute that you put down my phone and expect me to do what you want, I suddenly have this thought of Being Who I Am. What I should do? Thank you or scold you? Idk. Since I am in sec 1 I have been doing all things cautiously and trying to make thing merrier but what happens in the end? I am always the one getting scolded even if I am not in the wrong!! Ppl told me what I should do as a friend or even a classmates or maybe a junior towards all my senior regardless that they are from other schools or other cca or even C.O. but I did. I try to be one so called good person that they all expected as a classmate, a friend, a junior but who saw it? No one! No matter how many good things that I have done. As long as I did a small mistake, they will scold and forget about all the good things that I have done. Is it fair? No! I don't care if ppl laugh at me for being foolish by going their ways of " how to be a good person" because I believe that what they do is for my own good and as someone who they wants to teach is something that is a fortune. No matter how I feel that it is wrong, I will try my best to do it even though it means going through my own wills. But what I get in the end, it is just another scolding! Ppl and ppl leaves me and what can I do? No matter what I do, I am just nothing to them! Even though I put in my best, who will notice? I put up a happy face everyday and dare not even to say out how I am feeling even though I am suffering inside me! But who know? Who knows? You all say what I needs this, or needs that, or needs those or needs these. Ppl asks what I wants for b'dae and I told them I need this this this, but what I really needs is to have someone who will stop and look at me and really understands how I feel every single day without asking me what I really needs and understands me without me telling him or her , " hey bla bla bla, I am very lonely/sad/angry/emo/happy sia." I want to be someone that can sms a guy without being afraid that ppl will talk behind or even in front my back saying that me and the guy got something even though we are just seniors and juniors!!! Maybe you really did not mean it or maybe you are just joking but please spare a thought for the the ppl that you have spread about the rumors because they are humans too and they have feelings. If you are a friend of the person or if you really know this person please, think before you act, I am sure that you did not want ppl to spread rumors about you right? Especially when the person is someone who you know or even she or he is your friend! So ppl seriously stop ordering me or spreading rumors about me having a crush on who who who because you will not know how the person feel because you are not that person and do you know that ppl can be hurt by those rumors even physically or mentally? If you are first time hearing this ( ppl can be hurt by those rumors even physically or mentally) then maybe what I post today will give a extra knowledge.